YHWH MURDERS 42 BOYS FOR MAKING FUN OF A PROPHET’S BALD SPOT

1 Kings > 2 Kings 2 > 1 Chronicles

WARNING:  EXTREME VIOLENCE, WATER SMITING

CONTEXT: ~ 850 BCE Elijah and Elisha were active during the historical era following the breakup of the Davidic monarchy into northern (Israel) and southern (Judea) kingdoms. 

It isn’t YHWH directly, it is two she bears working for him who mangle the boys. God deploys the bears because one of his prophets is angry and hurt because the boys make fun of his baldness.
 

STORY SUMMARY: Elisha (a B-list prophet and acolyte of the more famous Elijah) is traveling to Bethel after his boss Elijah smites the waters to allow unspecified “sons of prophets’” to walk between the separated waters of the Jordan River. Yes, this is similar to the crossing of the Red Sea in Exodus, but not as big a deal.*
 

As Elijah’s understudy, Elisha now has possession of his master’s magic mantle and all the responsibilities that go with it. Elijah has just been taken up into the whirlwind amid chariots of fire and so on, so it is understandable that Elisha is a bit on edge.
 

So when a bunch of smart aleck kids come around and begin mocking his bald spot, it is understandable that he curses them via his special relationship with the Creator of the Universe.  
 

“From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two she-bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys. And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.”  - 2 Kings 2: 23-25 [NIV[

It is not clear whether Jehovah’s avenging bruins actually murder the boys or just maul them. Some translations use the term “tare” (KJV) and others, more explicitly, say “ripped to pieces.” (NET). Either way, death by bear mailing is darn tough love by anyone's standards.

Why bears? Why female bears? We are not given to know the mind of God, especially when he is in this kind of mood. However, I don’t mind tempting Fate by noting the punishment seems excessive for the actual crime. But then, YHWH is an arbitrary and (let’s face it) bloodthirsty deity who doesn’t mind violating his own commandments. But when you’re a deity, there are no consequences.  It’s good to be King, but it’s better to be God.

Either Elisha has no reaction to the extreme punishment for his petty grievance, or the author doesn't consider it important. If you are looking for clues as to the tendency toward vicious authoritarianism on the part of Bible literalists, this is another troubling example. 

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*This is one of three water smiting events in the Hebrew Bible.