Baal can't light your fire: he's taking a dump!

One of the snarkier stories in the Old Testament is the Mt. Carmel magic competition between YHWH's prophet Elijah and King Ahab's court magicians as they compete to summon their respective deities for the purpose of igniting a sacrificial bull. The nation of Israel is taking the day off to watch.

The conflict premise is that King Ahab of the Northern Kingdom of Israel has given evil Jezebel free range to set up her Baal shrines and altars in opposition to the exclusive worship of YHWH.  Elijah is YHWH's representative prophet to the 8th century BCE monarch of the Northern Kingdom of Israel. 

After challenging King Ahab's  priest/prophets to a mountaintop duel (not unlike Moses's dicksize contest with Pharaoh's priests), Elijah lets them go first. He ties two bulls to the altar and invites the shamen to pick either one, then bring down the sacred fire. After hours of importuning Baal, the fire remains unlit and the distraught Baal guys are engaging in self-harm. This is when Elijah begins to taunt them:

“Cry aloud, for he is a god. Either he is musing, or he is relieving himself, or he is on a journey, or perhaps he is asleep and must be awakened.” 

In other words, Baal can't light your fire because he is taking a dump. Elijah then calls down a whole pyrotechnics demonstration worthy of Mt. Sinai.

Although the holy scriptures are capable of soaring the great spiritual heights, they also descend surprisingly often into the realm of toilet humor..