The Book of Job: The Whole Story

While it is accurate to say that Job never does bring himself to curse God, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t throw some shade back at this self righteous friends and even at YHWH himself. Job is not necessarily the faithful doormat of common legend and the man can do a lament as well as any of the Babylonian exiles. But most of the biblical Book of Job never gets read or taught.

Most regular Christians and Jews know the story of Job, a tale which has spawned more than its share of clichés, the most common of which is “the patience of Job.” But as is the case with so much biblical material, people are typically exposed only to the Sunday School version of the tale. On closer examination however, the popular lesson that we must stoically accept God’s will is not necessarily the core message of this fable. 

For a reader not pre-programmed to accept the Bible as literal truth or even workable spiritual guidance, the natural reaction to this brutal saga might be: this is the benign sky god you worship? 

The original scriptural account is among the most interesting and morally complex to be found anywhere in literature. It ends with shockingly blunt and cynical observations from the Creator himself. The poetry is eloquent and powerful, worth reading in its own right, as are the bragging rants of YHWH as he admires his monsters. I recommend grabbing the KJV version and reading it for yourself.

Job is a rich man with an ideal family who is almost comically upright. Unfortunately, God brags about him to his heavenly advisory council, spurring his personal prosecuting attorney Satan to test Job’s faith. As a result, Job loses his home, all his possessions and his children are murdered. Nevertheless, he will not curse God (although he does take some time to bemoan the day he was born).

Job’s so called friends line up to accuse him of sinning, based on the prima facie principle that God is a just and fair deity, and therefore Job must have caused his own downfall. Job and YHWH have a very strange heart to heart and we get a front row seat as the Lord elaborates on his high opinion of himself.

Job questions why he has lost everything, but eventually admits that he does not have the wisdom of God and cannot know everything. God gets tired of this at some point and appears out of a whirlwind to discipline the friends and straighten out their thinking. He then restores Job’s wealth twofold and provides ten replacement children. 

The fabulously wealthy Job lives in the desert regions east of the Jordan River. He is not only good, he is perfect. He has seven sons, three daughters, seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen, and five hundred she asses. Not only is he is the main man of the "East," but Job is pre-emptively righteous. He purifies his children by offering burnt sacrifices just in case the kids sin accidentally, or neglect to do their own atonement.

One day YHWH is holding a council of his advisors, including Satan. Let’s be clear that Satan is not the devil in this context, he is God’s lawyer or “advocate.” The Hebrew is word is "hassatan" which can also mean “adversary” or “prosecutor.”

Satan reports that he has been wandering the earth, taking a look around. God proudly asks if the advocate has come across his virtuous poster boy Job in his travels. Ever contentious, Satan points out that Job has no reason not to be a model citizen: YHWH has given him everything and protects him from all harm.* Satan predicts that Job will curse God pretty darn quickly if his stuff is taken away. God tells him he can do his damnedest, as long as he doesn’t hurt Job physically.

Satan takes YHWH at this word: he destroys everything that Job has and murders his whole family. Satan deploys Sabeans to kill the servants and steal the donkeys,** then hurls a firestorm from heaven to barbeque Job’s livestock, sends some Chaldeans on a specific mission to steal the camels and finally a derecho wind to knock down his kids’ houses and crush everyone inside.***

Job’s response is to rend his clothes and fall down in worship, delivering his classic line:

“Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” – Job 1: 21 [KJV]

He does not sin, however, even given the excuse that his family has been murdered and his possessions stolen or burned.

At the next meeting of God’s angelic advisory committee, YHWH points out that Job did not curse him as Satan had predicted. So to make sure he is really tested, they afflict Job with boils so painful that he has to scrape them with potshards. Even Job’s wife encourages him to curse God at this point and just go ahead and die. But he refuses and is left sitting on an ash heap.

Three friends come to pay a condolence call. They sit on the ground with him for a week before launching a barrage of condemnation. The hero then takes up an entire chapter with a very powerful poem cursing the day he was born in almost every way possible. The next several chapters consist of an extended poetic piling on, with Job’s rebuttals in between. Although these poems reward the patient reader with artful language, they are rhetorically convoluted and solipsistic. These verses are altogether Shakespearean but also not unlike a Philly freestyle rap battle.

Job’s first friend Eliphaz the Temanite points out that while Job has given advice to many in their time of need, he has not met his own standards as he sits devastated on the shards. He suggests that Job’s troubles are the result of some hidden sin. 

Job responds bitterly to Eliphaz, leaving the door open to second friend Bildad the Shuhite and eventually Zophar the Naamathite. These pals grow increasingly strident in their censure of Job, who returns the favor in kind. Bildad insists that Job’s children brought their deaths on themselves, while good buddy Zophar suggests that Job deserved even worse than he got.

Each new segment is introduced by a rambling soliloquy on the topic of how long winded the other speakers are; nevertheless, aa annoying as these guys are, they are world class wordsmiths!

Their consolidated message is biblical pretzel logic: God is perfectly just, therefore, if Job has run into some problems it must be due to personal sin on his part. Job’s agonized responses are punctuated by eloquent complaints about his friends: 

He accuses his friends of being “worthless physicians” who whitewash their advice with lies.While he doesn’t quite curse God, Job certainly questions him aggressively. He is not above sarcasm.

When this harrowing discussion is over, a random young fellow named Elihu enters the conversation with an extended commentary running from Job 32:6 through chapter 37. He is even more full of himself than the others and his message is meandering. He does include the intriguing observation that physical suffering is an opportunity to realize God’s love and forgiveness. Thanks for that, Elihu.

When the new guy runs out of steam, the Lord appears abruptly out of a whirlwind, and he is not happy. He rejects the positions of Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar as poorly informed regarding the workings of the world. He then segues into a tribute to himself as the hard working, over-burdened Creator of the world. 

He itemizes some of his greatest achievements, including an extended homily to a unicorn. Next, Chapter 40 is a tribute to YHWH’s chaos monster Behemoth and Chapter 41 is all about Leviathan the sea serpent, two fearsome fantasy and science fiction creatures that God is especially proud of.  Essentially, God’s message to Job and his pals is: Get over it pathetic mortals ! You have no idea how tough it is being me!

Job repents and apologizes for not understanding why God killed his whole family and destroyed his whole world for no reason. The ultimate in Stockholm Syndrome.

“The Lord has knowledge that surpasses what humans can know,
Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.”

God castigates the three friends and orders them to come up with a sizeable burnt offering (seven rams and seven bulls), which Job will administrate. YHWH guarantees he will accept Job’s offering. God never tells Job he is not to blame, but was rather the victim of a gentlemen’s wager between a couple of callous popinjays.

God then gives Job double what he had before; soon, his sisters and family come to visit and also give him jewelry. The new possession inventory is listed: he now has fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, and a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand she asses. Yep. That's double.

In case Job still feels a little traumatized, 

God also gives Job TEN NEW CHILDREN! The new offspring are named, whereas, the original ten who were offed by Satan were not identified. Along these same lines, Job seems to have the same wife as before the unfortunate incident. Is it she who will give birth to the new brood of replacement children and if so, how does she feel about that? 

From context in the beginning of the story, it is clear that the original sons and daughters were heads of their own households, so Mom would already be of a certain age. Is the Lord Almighty expecting the little wife to get busy with the breeding and rearing of a new family? What happened to the souls of the family you murdered, God?

Ultimately, contrary to the off again on again message of God’s all abiding love for his creation, the humans in the Book of Job seem to be nothing more than pawns in a gentlemen's wager between God and one of his heavenly buddies. If Job ever figures out the nature of the plot against him, we are not told of it.

Don’t like that idea? Attend to God’s word Bro! Get over it!.

*An interesting turn of phrase that occurs in most translations tells us that God “put a hedge around him.”

**The description of the attack of the Sabeans is oddly specific and random, considering that they would have traveled about 1,000 mile for this attack.

***He is willing to do these horrible things just to win a bet, so we can see where Satan might have picked up his bad reputation.