- Sean OLeary HQ
- Global Warming Shocks
- Fun Bible Stories
- YHWH Sends Killer Bears
- Infancy Gospel of James
- Virgin Sacrifice
- Judas Contradictory Death
- 1 Enoch: The Watchers
- The Ten Commandments
- About The Philistines...
- Noah's Animal Barbecue
- Rachel's Menstrual Cycle
- Elijah As Harry Potter
- Lots of Incest
- Speckled Sheep Incident
- Jesus Lineage Part 1 & II
- Carving Up The Concubine
- Balaam's Talking Donkey
- David & the Foreskins:
- The Rest of Book of Job
- Circumcision On The Run
- Following The Wrong Star
- Abraham Traffics His Wife
- Infancy Gospel of Thomas
- 12 Tribes of Israel
- Bel & The Dragon
- Unicorns Are Biblical
- Phuckin' With Pharaoh
- True Scripture
- Honey I Ate the Kids
- The Massacre of Shechem
- Music Downloads
Unicorns Are Real!
THE WONDROUS MYTHICAL BEASTS APPEAR IN THE BIBLE NINE TIMES
Numbers 24:8 | Deuteronomy 33:17 | Job | Psalms 22:21 | Psalm 29:6 | Psalms 92:10 | Isaiah 34:7
Numbers 24:8 | Deuteronomy 33:17 | Job | Psalms 22:21 | Psalm 29:6 | Psalms 92:10 | Isaiah 34:7
WARNING: Imaginary beasts
CONTEXT: Because they occur in the Bible, fundamentalists insist (and can prove) that the single horned magical horse is real.
Many biblical scholars have pointed out that much of the Old Testament is a collection of mythological tales, not in small part because it is as full of magical creatures as a Harry Potter book.
A rough inventory includes: Leviathan the giant sea serpent/dragon, Behemoth the monster, two mile tall giants called Niphilim, a talking donkey, the Ziz (a flying monster in Psalms 50:11), witches, talking snakes, angels and – to the surprise of many – unicorns.
This discovery runs counter to the ubiquitous and stunningly annoying hit song of the eighties: the Unicorn by the Irish Rovers.
And the waters came down and sort of floated them away
And that's why you'll never see a unicorn, to this very day.
Nevertheless, the following scriptural passages reference unicorns. We invite the reader to draw their own conclusion as to the existence of unicorns.
Numbers 24:8 | Deuteronomy 33:17 | Job | Psalms 22:21 | Psalm 29:6 | Psalms 92:10 | Isaiah 34:7
Numbers 24:8 | Deuteronomy 33:17 | Job | Psalms 22:21 | Psalm 29:6 | Psalms 92:10 | Isaiah 34:7
Numbers 24:8 | Deuteronomy 33:17 | Job | Psalms 22:21 | Psalm 29:6 | Psalms 92:10 | Isaiah 34:7
Book of Numbers
God brought him forth out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn: he shall eat up the nations his enemies, and shall break their bones, and pierce them through with his arrows - Num. 24:8 [KJV]
Book of Psalms
“Save me from the lion’s mouth: for thou hast heard me from the horns of the unicorns.” Psalm 22:21
“He maketh them also to skip like a calf; Lebanon and Sirion like a young unicorn. Psalm 29:6
“But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of an unicorn.”
Psalm 82:10 [KJV]
Book of Deuteronomy
“His glory is like the firstling of his bullock, and his horns are like the horns of unicorns: with them he shall push the people together to the ends of the earth: and they are the ten thousands of Ephraim, and they are the thousands of Manasseh.” Deuteronomy 33:17 [KJV]
Book of Isaiah
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. Isaiah 34:7
Book of Job
Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, Or abide by thy crib?
Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow?
Or will he harrow the valleys after thee?
Wilt thou trust him, because his strength is great?
Or wilt thou leave thy labour to him?
Wilt thou believe him, that he will bring home thy seed,
And gather it into thy barn? – Job 39:9-12 [KJV]